Keeping Mum

Today I was thinking about designing a garden called "Bodies in the Garden" where two types of ground cover are used; the background is a lighter colored groundcover and there are darker patches in the shapes of bodies scattered around as if bodies buried in the garden caused the plants to grow a slightly richer green color -- I got the idea from digging around in the corner of my backyard where the soil is absolute crap. I kept thinking to myself "What would I do if I found a skull in the crappy soil?It's the perfect place to bury a body: crappy, rocky, sandy soil, who the hell would try to plant a real garden back here?" So if I did find a body, would I call 911 first? Or would I try to blackmail the landlord into giving me the house and land in return for keeping mum about what is obviously that mother of his whom he claims lives back east somewhere? (Great title for the story "Keeping Mum.") When I told my friend Linda about this possible storyline she said "Oh, get real, you'd just end up out there with his mom, buried in all that crappy soil..."