Autographed by Author

I've been going into every bookstore I pass and rummaging around in the craft section until I find a copy of my book. I then take the book(s) to Customer Service and ask them if I can autograph my own book, do they have a pen I can use and can they slap an "autographed by author" sticker on the book's front. Usually the customer service rep is thrilled to do so.

I was perusing the Onion and came upon the following stat:

Hmmm...this has given me some ideas for dedications...hmmm...I think I'd change the last one to: For the itteh bitteh kitteh committee...